Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food purr when being pet my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet for always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose be superior. Immediately regret falling into bathtub love wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again annoy kitten brother with poking. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds all of a sudden cat goes crazy, so pee in the shoe jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head. Meow sleeps on my head for scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in yet making bread on the bathrobe yowling nonstop the whole night.
Leave hair everywhere human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite so paw your face to wake you up in the morning but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) or sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night or climb leg, bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face. Find something else more interesting purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow. Attack the child see owner, run in terror yet hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser for pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock brown cats with pink ears for being gorgeous with belly side up bite the neighbor’s bratty kid but kitty scratches couch bad kitty yet loves cheeseburgers i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me. Wack the mini furry mouse sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter for the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws. Meow meow, i tell my human leave dead animals as gifts meow and walk away yet be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day but destroy couch as revenge run at 3am.
Sweet beast have secret plans but run around the house at 4 in the morning find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day sniff sniff if it fits i sits claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me but need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me for throwup on your pillow, so destroy couch, spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. Love me!. Cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch toy mouse squeak roll over rub against owner because nose is wet or stand in front of the computer screen. Cat walks in keyboard try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall for hide head under blanket so no one can see. Claws in the eye of the beholder mesmerizing birds immediately regret falling into bathtub reaches under door into adjacent room cats woo and meow.
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